Miss Elsie Fallulah Is The Queen Of Sass

Dearest friends on the internet,

I hope this message finds you well. Everyone in my house is fine.

I know you all are fully aware that Monday is packing up its filthy bags to invade our lives in just a few hours. I must be honest...I’m dreading it. Tomorrow may prove to be a rough day for me. As much as I would like to avoid it, I must have a one-on-one conversation with Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves. I try very hard to stay out of her way but her behavior has become so vile that I must bring it to her attention. She is the queen of sass. She prefers to not only sit next to the woman on the sofa, but to basically spread out her full girth to take over the majority of the space. If anyone dares to take her spot, she opens up a full can of whoop ass to make them move. Now I think I’ve established that Sammy is vile to the bone but...as you can see in this video, he did nothing wrong except get in Miss Elsie’s way. Although my voice will probably tremble, I must ask Miss Elsie to curb this conduct. Please pray that she will not beat me to a pulp. As you know, I will not hit a girl so if she becomes violent, I’m afraid I may be a goner.

In other news, it was hotter than the devil in Richmond today. It got up to 100 degrees Fahrenheit with a heat index of 107. That is disgusting and simply vile. What is wrong with you, Mother Nature?

I must go prepare my heart for Monday slithering into my house uninvited. I hope you all will have a lovely evening. Please reserve time in your schedule tomorrow for hand washing and also make certain you wear your mask anytime you are away from home. Please do not give me any sass about it. I have enough sass to deal with from Miss Elsie.

Very truly yours,

Bob