I Really Am Writing A Book

Dearest friends on the internet,
Another day is now behind us. I am happy to report all is well at my house and I hope the same for you.

I spent another day working on my book. Some of you messaged me saying you weren’t sure if I was just teasing or if there really is a book. I promise with all of my heart there is a real book. I am working very hard to release it by the end of the summer, maybe sooner if I can get these blasted vile beasts to leave me alone so I can focus on my work. Like I said last night, writing takes a lot out of a person. I promise I’m working as fast as my paws can type.

In other news, I am a bit disgusted with the woman as I have come to the realization that she is not quite right. Every time I walk by her she is compelled to squeeze my tush. It is absurd that she should think it’s okay to exhibit such barbaric behavior. I confronted her about it and she said, “Bob, you are just so adorable that I cannot resist.” I can understand the adorable part but it is not acceptable for her to treat me like a play toy. I told her we would need to set some boundaries. I do not think she appreciated my sternness but she must learn to control herself.

I must go for now because I need to finish the chapter in my book I’ve been working on today. I hope you all rest well and are prepared to teach Wednesday a thing or two. Please make sure your face mask is freshly laundered and ready to go with you in the morning and you scrub your hands clean every chance you get. It is critically important for you to de-cootify yourself frequently throughout the day.

Very truly yours,
Bob