Barnabas Collins

Dearest friends on the internet,
Happy Saturday! I hope this message finds you happy and heathy! All is well at my house today.

There really wasn’t much going on here today. I think we have all recovered from Elsie’s birthday celebration. Miss Elsie certainly knows how to throw a party. And you would think with her being 17 years old now that she would conduct herself like the mature woman that she is. If you think that, you would be wrong. Today she spent the day chasing big blubbery bellied Sammy all through the house. And, just a few minutes ago she opened up a can of whoop ass on poor Frankie because he was napping in her spot on the sofa. As usual, I’m staying as far away from Elsie as I can. She freaks me out.

In other news, the woman has been a bit frustrated. Both Elsie and Elizabeth Taylor have been getting injections of an anti-nausea medicine called Famotadine. This is basically Pepcid but the woman can just give it to them as an injection under the skin since both of them become wild cougars when she tries to give them pills. We found out that she can’t get the injectable stuff because it is being used to treat Covid patients in the hospital. The vet can’t get access to it until the Covid hospitalizations ease up...so that means the woman has to give them pills. Let’s just say it’s not going so well. Both ladies have clawed the woman nearly to death. Now on top of the gigantic cut on her eye from Sammy the other night, she has big red scratches down both arms. It’s a super classy look!

Tonight we’re having a Fuzzy Sock Nite. The woman found old episodes of Dark Shadows on Amazon Prime Video. We are going to snuggle and get freaked out by Barnabas Collins. Please make sure you get plenty of rest and, for the love of all things good and holy, please wear a mask and wash your hands.

Very truly yours,
Bob